im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
