There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
