he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
