Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
