It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
