It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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