you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
