dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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