couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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