How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize