the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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