I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
