Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
There's even glitter on my cock...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
