when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
