high people should be assigned attendants
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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