we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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