So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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