Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
