If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
