sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
