I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
