You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
