Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
