she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
its liver damage thursday
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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