There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
