You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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