he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize