What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
