yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize