I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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