my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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