I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
