Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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