Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
