I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I will be naked everywhere
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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