and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
