Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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