Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
