break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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