all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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