evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we made out on top of his cat.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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