Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
