Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
