you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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