Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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