you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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