Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
