she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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