is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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