i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
