He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
