brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
