problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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