We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
