All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
