I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
