Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
