Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You ruined the universe
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
