So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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