3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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