K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The feeling are messing with the penis
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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